For Families

The best time to enter religious life is when God calls.  For some of us, this attraction to a life dedicated in a special way to God grew in our hearts from childhood and blossomed with adolescence under the influence of grace.  For others, it took us by surprise in college or in the years that followed, sweeping us off our feet and directing our hearts to Jesus Christ as our surpassing love.

In each young woman who contacts us, we look for “maturity proportionate to age.”  We do not require that a young woman be fully mature as a single person in the world (which is not our vocation); we look for a deep personal engagement with God and the truths of our Catholic Faith, emotional wholeness and responsibility in relationships, and a steady openness in the desire to serve God and neighbor.  If we think a young woman would benefit from further personal growth before entering the monastery, we may ask her to attend college, work, or volunteer for a year or so before considering entering.

As we get to know your daughter through visits and letters usually in the course of a year, culminating in an entrance application and a month-long stay with us inside the cloister,  we are considering whether or not she has the qualities necessary to flourish in our way of life.  After entering the monastery, she will have eight years of formation in which both she and the community experience her ability to flourish in living as a Dominican nun before she makes the lifelong commitment of Solemn Profession.

A postulant or novice is always free to leave; those in temporary vows may also choose not to continue on to Solemn Profession.  Leaving the monastery, or “discerning out,” is not a failure, but a continued pursuit of God’s will when it becomes clear that this life is not a good fit for her.  What is best for the candidate is also best for the community.

Entering the monastery is a radical following of Christ in response to His love, to embark on a vocation of belonging exclusively to Christ, giving oneself totally to Him and with Him for the salvation of souls, in the context of the cloistered community.  We love our families dearly and remember them first of all in our life of praise of God and prayer for the world.  In embracing our specific vocation in God’s plan, however, we are called (and our families are called too in response to our call from God) to give up the normal ways of togetherness families typically have in the world today: such as travel home for family holidays,  continual contact by e-mail/cell phone/texting. Instead, each Sister may receive family visits twice a year, send and receive mail by post, and talk on the phone for several special holidays each year. These moments are treasured by Sister and by family members, who are often deeply moved by the peace found here at the monastery.

For more on this topic, read our Vocation Letter: Helping Parents Understand.

In God’s plan, nothing is wasted.  Life in the monastery calls for the full flourishing of your daughter’s womanhood in the way proper to a virginal spouse of Christ and mother of souls, and for the development and exercise of many and varied talents.  A deep spiritual union with Christ in silence and solitude, along with intense daily communion with the other nuns aid human development; the many tasks of monastic life provide challenge and outlet for other skills: cooking, cleaning, sewing, crafts, needlework; accounting, nursing, teaching; design and fine arts; historical, philosophical, and theological study; piano, organ, plenty of singing; gardening, forestry, maintenance, information technology; event planning, problem solving, teamwork, leadership; developing a lifetime of virtue and growth in love of God and neighbor.

Any vocation your daughter pursued would draw on certain talents more than others, but also bring out unexpected opportunities to grow and put unsuspected talents to use.  Ours is the same.  A young woman who enters after college or further schooling may put many aspects of her education to use; other aspects may be sacrificed out of love for God.  He is worth it.

We put this question in here for Dads who want to know the answer to this very important question about future sons-in-law.  We assure you: Jesus is the best Son-in-law possible!  He provides for His spouses very well through our generous friends and benefactors who supply for our material needs by their donations, gifts of supplies, and sponsorship of special projects.  How grateful we are for their support, which frees us for our life dedicated to praise of God and prayer for the needs of the world.

Thank you for being willing to support your daughter as she seeks to serve God and do His Will in her life. That is the most important affirmation a young woman needs to feel from her parents and family: unconditional love for her, and unconditional support of her embracing her vocation in Christ, whatever that may be.

Entering the monastery as a postulant is an important step, often the fruit of many years of discernment of God’s call.  Yet it is not the end of the story: discernment continues throughout the eight years for formation it takes to become a Solemnly Professed Dominican nun.  If she knows that your love and support are there for her whether she embraces this life through solemn profession or ends up moving on to seek God’s will for her life in some other path, your daughter will be the most free to base her decisions on love for God and on the genuine indications of her suitability for this life.

Again, thank you from our hearts for your sacrifice, your love and your support.  You are in our daily prayers.